I'll Try Not To Say Goodbye, So You Won't Have To See Me Cry
by Uni Shall Not Sink
Summary: A collection on Freeverses. One: Regulus Black
1. The Right Choice

**The Right Choice**

You were only fifteen

When the creepy snake slithered his way in

You remember the day well

You were on your way back to Hogwarts

Patiently waiting at the end of the train station

You were barely old enough

To do anything

But you were devoted

For a while, anyway

Eventually you started to realize

You were just his cattle going to be chased and slaughtered

It took you a few years however

Killing defenseless muggles

For sport

For something to do

For fun

To wipe the emptiness inside you away

You didn't like it at all

Not the way you hoped you would, anyway

But there's no way out

Was there?

By death?

By chance?

You're unsure if you made the right choice in the end

Drinking the drink of despair

Teardrop after teardrop

Taking the locket

Getting eaten by the inferi

But you have to admit

It's a hundred times better

No

A thousand times better

Then letting that bastard get the stratification of killing you

* * *

_Written For;_

_Favorite Era Boot Camp; Train Station_

_Favorite House Boot Camp; Emptiness _

_Minor Character Boot Camp; Regulus Black (2.1k fics) Creepy_

_Family Boot Camp; Cattle_

_Organization Boot Camp; Chase_

_Poetry Boot Camp; Teardrop_


	2. Of Rats And Men

**Of Rats and Men**

You never thought that you would make friends

Did you Peter?

But we're they really friends?

They would laugh at you

And make fun of you

_Look everyone Peter can't ride on a broomstick!_

You can't help to wonder

_To know_

That if you were anywhere

But Gryffindor

You would be the one they teased relentlessly

So you didn't feel bad

_You really didn't_

When you crawled up to the dark lord

And whispered all the things you knew

To set up your own death

And live as a rat

You can't say you really mind

You _like _rats

Don't you Peter?

That's just another thing to add

to the list of why you're so _different _

No one you know

Would ever go near a rat

_Let alone fancy one..._

But you _are _a rat

People forget that

Don't they Peter?

_They make you angry as hell and all you can see is red_

In their eyes

Your nothing more then a rat of a man

Constantly running

running, away

from the dreaded macaw

But soon

You'll be the one they come crying to

begging for their lives

Soon...

You'll be_ powerful_

* * *

_Written For; _

_Pairing Diversity Boot Camp; Peter/Rat; Macaw_

_Minor Character; Peter Pettigrew; Broomstick_

_Character Trait; rebellious!_

_Non-Human Boot Camp; Rat; fancy _

_Poetry Boot Camp; Anger_

_Organization Boot Camp; Beg_


	3. Broken Hearts

**Broken Hearts**

You were only fourteen

While he was seventeen

You were unattractive

While he was a quidditch player

You were shy and unknown

While he was popular and outgoing

You were completely and totally smitten

It was only luck

That you bumped into each other that night

You were walking back from the library

While he was coming back from a meeting

When you touched

It was just a accidental bump in

But

When you touched

Your skin was put

On fire

You were electrified and flabbergasted

In a good way

He asked you to the Yule ball

And you couldn't have been happier

You remember that night

The piano was playing

Everyone was staring

You felt special

You felt loved

It was all rainbows and sunshine

But

Times change

Life happens

And your heavenly fairy tale happy ending

Got crushed

You got heart broken

But he...

He was to young

To die

Yet that's just how life goes

* * *

_Written for;_

_Poetry Boot Camp; Piano_

_Character Trait; Shy_

_Minor Character; Cho Chang; Heavenly_

_Character Diversity; Cho Chang; Sunshine_

_Pairing Diversity; Cho/Cedric; Flabbergasted _


	4. Hush Hush

**Hush Hush**

Hush little girl

Hush hush

Mummy will get better

She will stop being mean

Aunt Daphne will leave

And everything will be normal again

I promise

So hush little girl

Hush hush

I know your scared

I am too

But soon we will be free

Soon she won't hurt us anymore

I promise

So hush little girl

Hush hush

Soon you will look in that mirror

And see nothing but you

You won't have bruises

Or scars

I promise

So hush little girl

Hush hush

go to sleep

Dream of angels

Or anything you want

Because I will protect you

And I'm not letting her near you

I promise

So hush little girl

Hush hush

It's too late

Mummy got you

I was at school

I promised to protect you

But I failed

You once told me

That if I was the one to cut you

You would bleed forever

I wasn't sure what you meant at the time

You were so young

But now I know...

Go fly with the angels little girl

Because that's all you can do now

You're gone

But remember

That I'll always love you...

So hush little boy

Hush hush

* * *

_Written For;_

_Poetry BC; Scar_

_Favorite Era; Hurt_

_Pairing Diversity; Scorpius/Naomi; If you be the one to cut me, I will bleed forever._

_Your Favorite Hogwarts House Boot Camp; Scar_

_Original Character BC; Poetry _

_Character Trait Boot Camp; hopeful!_


	5. Secret Crushes And Hidden Desires

**Secret Crushes and Hidden Desires**

You were too young

In their opinion

But you loved him

You really did

They would all stare

"Look at the youngest Potter! With a Malfoy!"

You rather tell them

To go fuck themselves

Then explain

Sometimes love

Happens in the weirdest ways

And you weren't going to keep your crush a secret

You weren't going to have secret desires

All because of the daily prophet

Even though they wish you did

They don't understand why you don't care

About the press

But why should you?

Your father saved the world

You had nothing to do with it

So why must you be an angel?

Why can't you marry a pureblood?

Why do you assume that everyone is the same

As their parents

_Just a mere reflection?_

Why can't they grasp that you are

_Not _And _never_

Will be a reflection of your father

You and Scorpius

Both know that it isn't true

You're not your father

And

Neither is he

But you know better

Then to try to change

The eyes of the press

Because to them

You'll always have your **S**ecret crushes

And _Hi_dden desires

* * *

_To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream. _

* * *

_Ashleigh's Monthly Competitions; September Competition; Lily/Scorpius (First OTP)_

_Poetry Boot Camp;_

_Pairing Diversity Boot Camp; 41. To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream._

_Favorite Era Boot Camp; Reflection_

_Character Trait; outspoken!_

_Family Poot Camp; Potter-Weasley's; Grasp_


	6. Aristocats

**Aristocats**

You were raised to be this way

Prim and proper

Your father would kill you himself if he knew

You loved a blood traitor

Your father raised you to be an aristocat

Not a traitor

But still

When you look at Alice Longbottom

You can't help but feel something

You want to lavish her in butterfly kisses

and dare you say it love

You don't feel anything for Narcissa

Even though you suspect that she could be a traitor too

When you learn of the dark lords plan

Your physically pained

You're to go to the Longbottoms with Bellatrix and kill

But you can't, it's just too difficult

So you just drive them to insanity

And for te rest of your life

Her screams

Will haunt your dreams

Dancing

and

Writing her pain into your mind

And keeping you awake

For all of eternity

* * *

_Written for;_

_Character Diversity Boot Camp; Lucius Malfoy; Writing_

_Pairing Diversity Boot Camp; Lucius/Alice; Butterfly Kisses_

_Organization Boot Camp; difficult_

_Favorite Era Boot Camp; Lavish _

_Poetry Boot Camp; Dance_


	7. P is for Plain

**P is for Plain**

You're Domi Weasley

One quarter veela

Without all the charm

Or beauty

Your older sister is the beautiful one

The one all the French boys are after

And the English

And even the Muggle

But you, you're just plain

You didn't inherit the good looks

Or the dashing charm

No one looks at you special

They just think your plain

All except one

But that one is off limits.

That one is your cousin

But you do love her

You really do

Not in the way your supposed to though

You both love red velvet cake

And that's how you become best friends

You wonder if she thinks your plain

Just plain old Domi

But somehow you doubt it

Somehow deep in your heart

You feel the love she gives

And somehow you find yourself falling for her

You love everything about her

Her pretty purple eyes

Her blonde hair

Just everything

Just plain old love

But your afraid to open up

Your afraid to tell her

Because you _know _your love

Will never be returned

* * *

_Written For;_

_Favorite Era Boot Camp; Imagination _

_Pairing Diversity Boot Camp; Domi/Roxy; Purple_

_Favorite House Boot Camp; Pretty Eyes_

_Character Diversity Boot Camp; Dominique Weasley; Opening_

_Minor Character Boot Camp; Velvet_

_Poetry Boot Camp; Red_

_Family Boot Camp; Potter-Weasley's; Caring _


	8. Of Bad Timing and Lost Causes

**Of Bad Timing and Lost Causes**

She was so young

And you, you were old

But she loved you

And you loved her

Love should concur all, right?

You were filled with fear

When she told you the good news

You would be a father

And she would be a mother

You were unaware that two little words

I'm pregnant

Could tip your world upside down

You're a creature of habit, dedicated, but

and you're not sure you can be a father

You were in the middle of a war

War isn't the place for a child

Is it?

Of course not.

Especially when your wife is the stubborn Auror Nymphadora Tonks

Who couldn't just stay at home with the baby

She had to fight

And now

You're both dead

And your little boy

Will be an orphan forever

* * *

_Written For;_

_Cross-Gen Boot Camp; dedication_

_ Organization Boot Camp; Creature of habit _

_Poetry Boot Camp; Auror_

_The Ultimate Shipping Challenge_


	9. Decisions To Make

**Decisions to Make**

How much you love him

Isn't questionable at all

You'd die for him

You almost did

He'd die for you as well

Your sure of that

But he's the golden boy

And you're the troubled snake

Your father would never approve

Ever

You must produce him an heir

Or your pretty much useless

But you find yourself not caring

In the long run

Your fathers opinions don't matter

Do they?

You wish he'd approve but you know he won't

You'd get disowned

But you don't care

You love him

That stupid, silly, indecent, quidditch toned, golden boy

And you could blame him but

You love him so much

That you'll risk it all

* * *

_Written For;_

_Pairing Set Boot Camp; Draco/Harry_

_Character Trait; indecisive_

_Organization Boot Camp; Blame_

_Poetry Boot Camp; Quidditch_


	10. Silence

**Silence**

At first I thought I might like the silence  
No mother yelling at me  
No father pretending to agree  
Just nothing  
But then everything went silent.

I was hanging from the ceiling fan  
My cousins Slytherin scarf around my neck  
I couldn't breathe  
I couldn't hear  
All the things around me were silent

I vaguely remember my little brother coming into my room  
I think he screamed and ran to get dad  
Dad was concerned, I know he was  
After all it isn't normal for a ten year old boy  
to try and make everything go silent.

But still I was hanging there on my suicidal attempt  
I was finally taken down after several minutes  
And brought to St. Mungos  
I remember that, almost  
I think I was slipping in and out of silence.

The next real memory I had was when my mother got mad at me  
She was furious, like a sea serpent  
I was lying in the hospital bed when she began to shout  
MY SON WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO DAMAGE THE BLACK FAMILIES NAME  
because all she cared about was that name, not my current state of silent.

She didn't care that I was in a hospital bed  
Or that I was hooked up to oxygen  
She didn't care that I could have died  
She only cares that I'm a heir  
Almost like the name is one to be put on a thrown before the silent.

My father though  
He's different  
He was asking me how I was  
A lot  
It was annoying but at least he cared of my current state of silent.

Thanks to him I changed, and didn't like the silence after that night  
It scared me... I felt so guilty  
Every night I would just listen to my brother sleeping in the hospital bed next to me  
His chest going up and down as he slept, I felt happy that he refused to go home  
But then he would scream, making me regret it all

I was giving my little brother nightmares  
He was only seven years old  
He was too young to understand  
Too young to know the burden of being a Black  
Too young to know the burden of that silence.

I was also young to actually understand the Blacks too  
But I knew that if I went against anything that Mother wanted  
You would be made to do terrible things  
Like spending a night without food and water  
Increasing the possible benefits and beauty of silence.

Regulus was the good child  
He didn't do anything to make mother upset  
He did everything she said without question  
But how could she always be right?  
Was she another form of silence?

How could she be able to tell me the Muggles are scum  
When she, herself, has never even talked to one?  
I liked the muggles down the street, all of our neighbors were muggles  
Certainly if she hated them so much we wouldn't be living in the middle of them?  
The house completely surrounded by mother's version of silence.

I didn't understand life  
I didn't understand my mothers rules  
I didn't understand how my father would just listen to her  
He wouldn't go against her either, why was everyone afraid of her?  
Why was I, at ten years old, the only one that would go against my mother's silence?

I was the only one who asked questions  
I needed to know the answers  
So I stayed in the hospital  
Mother was furious  
But the healers recommended I stay after my silent attempt.

72 hour inspection they called it  
I wonder what would have happened if I hung from the swings  
The swings from the park across the house  
Father used that place to apperate at night  
When the muggles were away and keep the magical abilities completely silent.

I can't imagine what mother would have said  
If I would have been put in a muggle hospital  
That is if she would have come for me at all  
Somehow I think that she wouldn't  
She wouldn't had bother to take my silent self to a muggle hospital.

He ran away, I could hear her saying in my head  
No idea where he went, or if he is dead or alive  
That's when she would fake the tears  
Because really she couldn't care less if I was dead or alive  
She couldn't care less if I was alive or resting completely silent.

My therapist soon learns that  
Oh wait, not a therapist, after all that's too muggle  
Mind healer,my mother corrects me every time I try to speak to him  
Which the doctor stopped by revealing to her that he doesn't mind  
Mother, went completely silent, answering back with a disapproving look

She was livid  
She looked like she was just told to go hug a muggle  
Then a spark goes off in her head  
What will we tell everyone? Tonight is the annual Pureblood Ball!  
Causing the room to go completely silent once again.

It was funny, because she said that right in front of my mind healer  
Or my therapist doctor as I actually prefer  
I could easily tell that he was surprised  
Like he wasn't believing her luxurious words from before  
Your son just attempted to silence himself and your worried about what to tell people?

I decided then and there that I quite liked my mind healer therapist person  
Mother didn't like that question one bit  
She just nodded, I think she was speechless  
No one told Walburga Black what to do or say  
No one contradicted her or tried to silent her, except me, of course

Mother left after that in a huff  
Father kissed the top of my head  
Be strong little one  
I didn't get why he could only be loving when my mother wasn't around  
It shows weakness in your mothers eyes I silently thought back to what my father told me once.

But if that was true, then why was he still with her?  
She was nothing but mean to him  
Not to mention to me  
It's like the only one she liked was Regulus, she didn't even like Aunt Cassie  
Or anyone else in our family that only produce love for silence.

After a while I'm let out  
You shamed our family Sirius  
My mother would say once where home  
You will clean the house top to bottom  
After all this time, I know not to go against my mother, I just go and clean, in complete silence

It was then that I had an idea  
Mother was the reason for my silent attempt  
I loved my father and brother dearly  
Without her, we could be free  
We could be without her deadly silence

While cleaning I find an object  
Hypocritical at best  
I recognized it as a Muggle weapon  
A gun, perhaps?  
Maybe this could help aid in my silent mission

It took me a week to get my plans straight  
I would go to the dinner table before everyone was seated  
I could not scar my little brother again  
I could not have my father stopping me  
I needed my mother silent

I was quick on my feet that night  
The mettlic object hidden beneoth my clothes  
What do you want, Sirius?  
I shakingly pointed the gun and  
Bang. Silence.

* * *

_This is easily the longest freeverse I have ever written, and I love it so much. Thanks to the wonderful Javvy (J.F.C) for betaing for me._

_This was written for a few things, as always. _

_Quidditch League Competition; BellyBats; Write about your mascot as a young child, before s/he started Hogwarts_

_Monopoly Challenge: States Avenue and the genre is hurt/comfort. The prompt: sea serpent. There are two houses currently on this property, so the fic must be written in first person._

_Poetry Boot Camp; Closure _


End file.
